i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
