i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
