the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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