Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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