I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
