This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
