As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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