"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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