I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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