am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
