Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
