It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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