I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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