I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
