Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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