every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
