Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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