Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i will never coherently bang her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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