Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
