We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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