Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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