We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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