Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
