i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
