Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
