There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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