What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we should paint friendship bongs
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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