Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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