she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
