I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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