How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
