Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this hospital has no fireball
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
