This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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