dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
