...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
