I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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