Don't make out with my wife yet
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
