Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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