Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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