I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
