I hate all girls vehemently.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
