Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
