i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
