Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We just shotgunned beers for America
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
