Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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