she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
