Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
