I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
