Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
