Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
