I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
