Tell her she can't have a vagina
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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